This Week in Gossip (July 13)

Okay, Fine, Let’s Talk About Drake’s Abs

Drake is back, apparently. Rather than walking into the sea and living among the crabs following Kendrick’s A-minor annihilation, he’s back for more and is pretending he’s deeply unbothered by the rap battle he lost (well, let’s not talk about his hilarious lawsuit for a second.) He's got a new aong called "What Did I Miss?", presumably because Dril has copyright over "I'm Not Owned." I don't like Drake's music so it's obviously not for me, but critics don't seem impressed. The thing getting the most attention online, however, is a shirtless selfie where Aubrey’s abs look, well, augmented.

Look, I don’t know what, if any, work Drake has had done, but he’s been plagued with accusations over having fake abs for years. Kendrick rapped about it. So did Megan thee Stallion (we don’t talk enough about “Hiss”, the other great Drake diss of 2024.) You can do what you want with your body. Having weird looking abs is one of the least offensive things about accused creep and Tory Lanez defender Aubrey Graham. But let’s be honest: did you look at that selfie and think about how weird it seemed, right?

The thing about cosmetic surgery is that we only really notice it when it’s bad. Often, it takes us years to finally clock how much work a celebrity has had done because the nips and tweaks started out so subtly before they built into a total Monet. We’re less likely to scrutinize men’s work because we so largely associate such surgeries and fillers with women (misogynistic beauty standards are killer, guys.) But it is out there, from hair transplants to facelifts to the recent mainstreaming of leg lengthening surgery (as discussed in Materialists.)

Drake getting fake abs isn’t a moral failing or anything, certainly not when we’ve heard, you know, all those other allegations. It’s great diss track fodder for obvious reasons, and it also just reminds us that money can’t buy you everything. Fake abs can be implanted but this work could also be the result of high-definition liposuction. You can see the difference in leanness from his arms to his chest. All of this still requires intense maintenance, of course. Aubrey still needs to go to the gym and do his crunches. He can’t eat whatever he wants.

It's easy to laugh at men’s insecurities about their bodies because there’s a small part of our lizard brains that just responds with, “yeah, join the club, boys.” The so-called masculinity crisis of the modern day that the manosphere has latched onto with frantic zeal is a dark time for us all, though. Will we eventually get to a period of transparency and honesty about this from major male celebrities? I hope so. I think we need it. Then again, the current period of “radical honesty” from famous women about their surgeries mostly seems to exist as a chance for sponcon. Capitalism makes us hate ourselves, kids.

If Drake had a modicum of self-awareness and humour about himself, he’d admit to the work and use it as fodder for his music. Go back to being a sad boy whose issues weren’t rooted in hating women. And stay away from women in general, honestly.

Is San Diego Comic-Con Dead to Hollywood?

Once upon a time, San Diego Comic-Con was just your typical comic book convention for nerds to hang out at. Then it blew up and became the most anticipated entertainment event of the Summer as studios filled up the legendary Hall H with their franchise fare and A-List talents. It felt like we were promised the biggest news in geekdom within SDCC during the mid-2000s to pre-lockdown 2020. Nowadays, however, things have changed, and SDCC is no longer a necessity for the big studios.

According to TheWrap (full disclaimer: I occasionally review TV for them), "Marvel Studios, Lucasfilm (Star Wars), Warner Bros. (DC), Legendary (Dune, Godzilla), Sony (Spider-Man), Lionsgate (John Wick) and Paramount (Star Trek) are all skipping a film presence at the conference’s famed Hall H, the 6,500-seat venue that has traditionally served as a launchpad for major franchise announcements and the premiere of exclusive sneak peaks." It won't be totally devoid of major studio offerings. DC will have a Peacemaker panel with James Gunn and John Cena in attendance. Amazon MGM Studios is making its first Hall H appearance with Ryan Gosling's Project Hail Mary. Disney might be taking Tron: Ares there, which could end up not happening since the recent investigation by Air Mail exposing Jared Leto's years of allegedly creepy and abusive behaviour.