Do You Remember: The Fergie Toe-Sucking Scandal

The downfall of Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, the man formerly known as Prince Andrew and the Duke of York, has been a long time coming. Even the most ardent royalists hate this creep, and his involvement with Jeffrey Epstein was but the tip of the iceberg of his messes. His decline to the lowly status of normal person was entirely his own making, and one could argue that it began long before he was accused of sexual assault or gave the most disastrous interview of the 21^st century. As noted by Andrew Lownie’s biography, Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the Duke of York, Andrew spent decades abusing his privileged position to schmooze with oligarchs and dictators and organize high-money business deals for himself. It was something of a family business, one that frequently involved his ex-wife, Sarah “Fergie” Ferguson.

Ferguson has stumbled into disgrace alongside Andrew. Her name was featured more frequently in Epstein’s contact book than that of her former spouse. Emails leaked revealing her grovelling in apology to Epstein after she publicly condemned him, and he was known to have loaned her large amounts of money. Once considered the comeback queen of the royal circle, Fergie is now at her nadir, with few allies beyond, possibly, her own kids.

We could be here for thousands of words listing every scandal that Ferguson has been involved in. It’s a symbol of the nature of the Windsor firm that someone so dumb and greedy could continue to cling to her connections to her ex’s family, even as she sought to exploit that bond for cash. So, let’s just focus on the funniest, the one that became a legendary tabloid front page and led to decades of jokes. Yup, we’re discussing the toe sucking. I’m sorry.

Once upon a time, Sarah Ferguson was viewed as a bright young hope for the monarchy. She was a red-haired upper-class girl who loved horses and skiing, and she had prior connections to the royal family before meeting Andrew. At one point, Princess Diana wanted her to be her lady-in-waiting. The press saw her as a good choice for Andrew, the former spare of the family and the Queen’s favourite kid, who had a lot of public goodwill following his time in the Navy during the Falklands War. Fergie seemed great compared to his last major girlfriend. Koo Stark was an American actress who had a few films with nude scenes, earning her the tabloid nickname “Starkers” and immediately writing her off as duchess material. For a while, the Duke and Duchess of York were very popular, with publications like Vanity Fair even writing pieces speculating that she would overtake Diana as the star of the new generation of royals. It didn’t last long.