Do You Remember: The Avril Lavigne Replacement Conspiracy

In the almost nine years since I became a full-time pop culture writer, I’ve seen how the world has descended headfirst down the rabbit hole of conspiracy. I remember, as a kid, how the prevailing image of conspiracy theorists in film and TV was of a basement-dwelling loser in a tinfoil hat ranting about aliens (or Dale Gribble in King of the Hill, a true icon.) They were to be laughed at and never taken seriously. That all feels disturbingly quaint in the current timeline, where the richest man on the planet parrots racist talking points, and the Trump administration’s policy-making strategy seems dependent on regurgitating dog-whistles and legitimizing the most outlandish tin-hat claims. I miss the pre-QAnon times, guys.

Celebrity-related conspiracies are ten a penny and have been for a long time. It’s no wonder that worlds of entertainment and fame are healthy breeding grounds for this stuff. These are spaces defined by money, hierarchies of power, scandals, and cover-ups. The history of, say, Hollywood studios covering up the secret abortions and affairs of their stars, has been extensively documented. Loretta Lynn hid her pregnancy, gave birth to her daughter, then “adopted” her to maintain her pristine reputation (in later years, she confided to family that she had been date-raped by her child’s father, Clark Gable.) If you’re so inclined (and you think Hollywood is an evil leftie cesspool that serves as a convenient punching-bag for your political agenda), you could spin elaborate webs of conspiracies from this industry that too many people will buy into.

Still, even within that context, between fake pregnancies and evil PR forced romances and whatever the hell Elon thinks is going on in between ketamine binges, some conspiracies are too weird to function. Will the real Avril Lavigne please stand up?

(Image via YouTube.)